What is shadow work?
The “shadow” is a term used to describe an unconscious aspect of our personality, or we often hear the term “inner child.”
So, shadow work is working with things like our repressed emotions, desires, and fears, to understand and gain awareness of how our experiences lead to these unconscious beliefs.
I pulled this amazing example from Betterup.com
[…say that you were often teased for being talkative as a child. Believing that you “talk too much,” you start retreating within, weighing every conversation to see if you “did it again.” One day, someone makes an innocuous comment while you’re preparing for a presentation: “Be careful not too put too many words on that slide” – and you’re furious.]
Who does it benefit?
Shadow work can benefit us all, but it can be difficult to get into. It’s something you have to be very honest and open-minded with. While this can seem like the best route, ignoring our shadow can lead to much larger issues in the future.
Such as:
- poor self-esteem
- self-deceit
- anxiety and depression
- unhealthy relationships
- self-sabotage
- inflated ego
If you struggle with severe trauma or PTSD, please seek out a licensed therapist before taking part in serious shadow work.
What is the goal of shadow work?
Shadow work is about creating self-acceptance and compassion around the things that are, sort of, your biggest insecurities. These insecurities tend to show in negative ways. But when we show ourselves compassion, we are opening the doors to learn the deeper meaning.
Here are some prompts to get you started:
- What past experiences do you avoid facing?
- Can you pinpoint what made you start doubting yourself as a child?
- What easily triggers anger or sadness in you? Can you identify the deeper reason?
- What critical thoughts about yourself do you have most often? Can you identify where these originated?
- What beliefs or behaviors did you adopt from your family that you now question?
- Think of someone who really gets on your nerves, what qualities or traits does this person have that contribute to this? Do you see any of these qualities in yourself?
- What activities did you love as a child that you don’t do anymore? Do you remember why you stopped? How did those activities make you feel?
- Can you identify patterns of self-sabotaging behavior?
- What secrets are you hiding? Can you identify why?
While you are working…
Take your time while filling out these prompts! You do not need to do them all in a day, you don’t even have to finish ONE in a single sitting. Who cares! It’s your shadow and your work.
The important part is that you are trying and succeeding at doing it.
You may find yourself stressed, uncomfortable, irritated, etc., take it at your own pace. Don’t do more than you can handle, it’s important that you AND your shadow feel safe.
I’d love to help anyone who needs someone to talk to. Please reach out – to anyone – when you are feeling overwhelmed, sometimes talking through your stressors with another person can make them feel less heavy.
We are all human. We have problems that are HUGE at the moment and minuscule once solved. But some are more long-term than that. Time does not heal all wounds without addressing the wound, to begin with!
XOXO,
Marissa
~Happy Cinco De Mayo!